


Despair for Peace

by Beathen



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 19:49:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5304557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beathen/pseuds/Beathen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the battle at Hogwarts, Severus meets up with someone from his past as he tries to deal with the decisions he has made along the way. [post Half Blood Prince]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Despair for Peace

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on livejournal on January 4th, 2006. I own nothing - it all belongs to J.K. Rowling.  
> Beta: ldybastet, and approved by Gemsbok  
> Written for: phoenix_fiction for the for the [naughty_newyear fic exchange](http://naughty-newyear.livejournal.com/profile)

Severus Snape knew that the world was going to hell and he didn't give a damn. That thought disturbed him more and more as he repeated it to himself. His life had been a series of choices and decisions that he longed to take back. Joining Voldemort had been a bad choice - the regret and self-flagellation over that nearly tore him apart from the inside but was hidden behind a mask of duty and self-preservation.

As he was running from the grounds of Hogwarts with Draco in tow, he knew the choice had been his. He had killed Dumbledore, possibly reluctantly, but the fact remained that his mentor was dead. It all came down to choices, whether forced or not and they were slowly killing him.

They Apparated as close to the front door of Malfoy Manor as possible. The wards on the house and grounds would surely protect them for at least one night of rest before they had to move on. Aurors were certain to come calling, but they all needed some sleep after the long day and brutal battle.

Draco entered the house first and went straight to the library to find the whisky he suspected his father kept there, but stopped suddenly in the doorway. Severus was not prepared for the halt and bumped into his student, becoming wary of what had caused him to stop. A quick glance at the chair near the fire provided all the answers with the figure seated there. Lucius.

"Father," Draco gasped, shocked at the sight. As far as anyone had known, Lucius should have been in Azkaban with the others captured at the Ministry a year ago, rotting away the rest of their lives. Severus stepped around the frozen boy, approached the older Malfoy, arms crossed and gave him the once over.

"Bought your way out again, I see."

Lucius looked up at Severus, twirling the liquid in his glass of whisky absent-mindedly in his hands.

"It pays to be well connected," he said evenly, taking a sip of his drink. He looked sternly at his son as he continued. "Draco, perhaps you should head up to bed. I take it that you've had a long day."

Draco swallowed noticeably, eyes wide with...fear?

"Yes, Father. Welcome back." He made a hasty retreat out of the doorway and up the stairs to his bedroom. Neither Lucius nor Severus spoke until they heard the faint, but audible, click of a door being shut.

Severus crossed to the sideboard to pour his own glass of alcohol. It really had been a long night and he needed something to dull the ache in his body and mind.

"The years have not been kind to us, Severus," Lucius said, his gaze wandering the room as Severus sat in the chair opposite the older man. "We are not as young as we once were."

"Obviously." The former Professor took a generous gulp of his drink. "It's what happens as time goes by." _'So'_ , he thought to himself, _'this is to be an evening of reminiscing. A bloody perfect end to a bloody perfect day. The only thing to make it even better would be a round of Cruciatus._ His sarcasm, if even to himself, seemed to bring him back to the fore and refocused his thoughts. "While this sorry excuse for a conversation is undoubtedly entertaining for you, I would rather not talk about the past. It's done - get over it." Finishing the last of his drink, he stood up and started to walk out of the room. A hand on his arm grabbed him roughly and pulled him around to face Lucius, who had also risen from his chair.

"Perhaps we could repeat some of the past, my lover. For old times sake."

"Former lover, you mean." Severus tried to pull away from the firm grip, growling.

"I confess that Azkaban was a lonely place. No opportunity for...pleasures." The gleam in Lucius' eyes and tone in his voice left no room for questioning. He would never resort to pleading, instead carefully manipulating circumstances and seizing opportunities. A Malfoy always got what he wanted.

Snape huffed in reply, "You have two hands. I'm sure you put them to good use." He had barely finished his sentence when firm lips descended onto his own. They were demanding and unforgiving even as a tongue forced its way into Severus' mouth. He tried to fight at first, but the press of a hardness against his thigh and the pressure of his own swelling cock weakened his resolve. Tearing his lips from the blond’s, he sneered. "I don't love you."

"You don't have to."

Snape quickly replied, "What about Narcissa? Shouldn't she be the one to warm your bed?"

"Don't worry about Narcissa interrupting us, Severus. Contrary to the obvious, I only married her to produce a pure-blood heir; She is a wife of convenience, nothing more. Besides, she has been staying with Bellatrix for the last few months and no one has been informed of my release." Lucius answered, lust still evident in his eyes.

_'What the hell'_ , Severus decided, as his lips sought his lover's, this time fighting for dominance, _'this is probably the only chance I'll ever have to feel something besides guilt.'_

They were not gentle with each other. They growled, licked, bit and scratched, each man searching for and finding the lust that had been buried by the years. With some effort, they finally broke apart, gasping for air and stared intently into the other’s eyes. Without a word, Lucius grabbed Severus' hand and lead him to the master bedroom.

This night was not about being loved, but for taking something for selfish gain. Once inside the bedroom, clothes were shed quickly, thrown haphazardly onto the floor. When they were both nude, Lucius pushed Severus to the bed and he crawled onto all fours, his heavy cock hanging beneath his body, twitching with need. He felt two slick fingers enter him roughly. The feeling of those two digits stretching him was slightly painful: it had been years since he'd been fucked. Severus' head dropped down as the fingers were removed from his body and a hand grabbed his hip to steady him. He tried to keep his breathing steady, willing himself to relax even as Lucius' cock penetrated him in one smooth motion that ripped a cry from both their throats. Lucius paused a moment to adjust before he began to move in and out of Severus' tight passage, moaning obscenities into the semi-darkness.

Severus' own coherency had diminished slightly as the pounding became hard and more frantic, but spoke in halting words with each thrust. "I'm not...the only...oh, god...one who's...getting fucked tonight."

Spurred on by these words, Lucius cried out as he came, filling the man beneath him with his seed. He slipped out of Severus' arse before moving to the side, lying down onto the bed.

"God, Severus, that was wonderful - you were so tight." Lucius quirked an eyebrow at the Potions Master and continued suggestively, "Are you not getting shagged as often these days as you did when you were younger?"

Severus huffed dryly in response, "I work at a school filled with old men and women and young children. I am neither a sadist nor a child molester." 

Lucius reached out to Severus with an oil-slicked hand and coated the other man's still straining and untended erection quickly in preparation for the next round, but this time with Severus topping.

"Get this in me now, Severus." Lucius growled, gently tugging the appendage before letting go.

Severus moaned with the need for release and anticipation of it happening in the immediate future. A quick adjustment of positions and he was now mounting Lucius slowly to prevent himself from coming too soon; He intended to give as good as he got and make it last at least as long.

He pounded into the man under him with equal ferocity as Severus had just received, silently praying to whatever gods were listening to grant him one moment of peace - an absolution from what he'd done in both Voldemort's and Dumbledore's service. He asked for the will to go on, to finish the work he'd started with the Order and bloody Harry Potter - to redeem himself, at least in his own eyes, if no one else's.

In contrast to earlier, no words were spoken as Severus took Lucius. There was no need to speak in those moments. Anything spoken mid-coitus would be meaningless - consonants and vowels possibly resembling foolish declarations of endearment (or lies) to fill the space between the more primal sounds emanating from the body. Only moans and grunts filled the semi-darkness of the room, raising and lowering in pitch, mimicking the intensity of the respective positions of fucking and being fucked.

As Severus shot his seed into Malfoy's arse he could almost feel that his wish for absolution, his desperate plea, was heard and granted. But it was a fleeting feeling of euphoria. As his cock stopped pulsing he crashed back to reality, pulled out and lay down on the other side of the bed.

"Get a flannel from the bathroom and clean me up, Severus." The blond demanded when the dark-haired man had settled down.

Severus pursed his lips, trying to rein in his growing anger, "Get it yourself, Lucius. I'm not your bloody slave."

"Just because you are a guest here doesn't mean you can shirk your duty to the one you just fucked."

"I'll do whatever I damn well please." In this moment in his life, this statement was true - he could tell Lucius to 'fuck off' without great consequence. In his life so far, however, this phrase meant nothing. Severus had followed the biddings of others, whether it be a manipulative, old headmaster, or an insane half-blood and, as a result, rarely did anything to please himself.

As a preventive measure, though, Severus grabbed his wand and cast a cleaning charm on himself to at least remove the evidence of previous activity without becoming uncomfortable while he slept. It wouldn't do to wake up with an itchy feeling and his body stuck to the sheets.

In the end, there would be no absolution, no peace, for Severus Snape. No matter what he did to right his wrongs, he would always be known as the one who had killed Dumbledore - the turncoat who had betrayed the Light. It was with this heavy thought that he drifted to sleep, desperately praying for the mercy that would never come.

~~The End~~


End file.
